Welcome Right Wing, Fire and Brimstone Xtians to Black Rock City (BRC)

Welcome RIGHT WING NEO-CONSERVATIVE BIBLE THUMPING CHRISTIANS to the biggest SATAN WORSHIPPING, NEW AGE, HOMOSEXUAL DRUG ORGY, outside of the DEMOCRATIC PARTY. YES, RIGHT HERE IN OUR GOD FEARING COUNTRY OF AMERICA. We're glad you came to spread the WORD! And thank you for your continued support of Burning Man with your radio shows and web sites that preach to the CHOSEN CHILDREN OF CHRIST about this apocalyptic gathering that promises to shake the very foundations of this GREAT CHRISTIAN NATION of OURS.

This year's Theme is a DOOZY. Larry Harvey, the Cult Leader himself, has finally come out of his SATANIC CLOSET with "BEYOND BELIEF". The Theme promises to be the MOST IDOLATROUS AND BLASPHEMOUS to date so hold onto your Bible and read about some of the PONERIA and BEFOULMENTS in store for you at THIS YEAR'S BURNING MAN FESTIVAL!

SPIRITUAL WARFARE will be Declared at the BUKKAKE RALPH REED CAMP where hell bound homosexuals and straight virile men alike will get the chance to defile one of our righteous leaders each day. Also featured will be Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell and Anne Coulter. It promises to be a STICKY SITUATION for any Christian to witness, but witness we must. In this BANNER YEAR FOR BLASPHEMY, THE LOST SOULS will bring out thier FALSE GODS to the desert. Egyptian Mysteries are displayed at OSIRUS R' US where you can commune with THOTH or RA. Ancient Sumerian and Canaanite Demons will be on display at IMPALE THE VIRGINS CAMP. It promises to be a BAAL so get there early to get a good seat!

Various SATANIC RITUALS and BLACK MASSES will be held throughout the event. The WITCHES OF EASTSIDE will be SACRIFICING CHILDREN and DRINKING THEIR BLOOD during Sunrise Services at Gospel and Profane. Stop by for some REAL OLD TIME RELIGION. They may burn the Man, but hopefully soon this CHRISTIAN NATION OF OURS will start BURNING THOSE WITCHES like our GOD says they should be burnt.

Stop by and EAT THE BODY OF ATTIS at ATTIS BURGER and drink this BUD, WHICH IS HIS BLOOD. Twisted minds who spend too much time reading EVIL BOOKS AND NOT THE BIBLE will defile you with lies about HERO GODS who have been SACRIFICED, sent to the NETHERWORLD and were then RESURRECTED. These LIES, represented by MITHRAS, DIONYSUS and OSIRUS will be alongside JESUS and even though those Gods are thousands of years older than JESUS, we know they were just DECEPTIONS SENT BY LUCIFER to fool people before the ONE TRUE GOD arrived on the scene.

CRUX OF FICTION promises BLASPHEMY OF THE HIGHEST DEGREE where ANIMALISTIC SEX, ORGIES and OTHER FORMS OF LICENTIOUSNESS MOST FOUL will be carried out with unwitting "volunteers" who ride the CROSS of our SAVIOUR. SOUL STEALERS will abound in the City Streets this year so PRAY CONSTANTLY that Demons and other Devils do not infest your holy BODIES. Also, keep your clothes on at all times FOR GOD'S SAKE. You never know when a DOPED UP HOMOSEXUAL or other DEMON POSSESSED MINION of SATAN will attempt to rape or otherwise bugger you.

OH BROTHERS AND SISTERS, MAINTAIN PARANOIA AND FEAR. You never know when a seemingly normal person may end up to be an incarnation of PURE EVIL. Black Rock City is crawling with DARK DEMONS, CATHOLICS, EPISCOPALIANS, UNITARIANS, NORTHERN PRESBYTERIANS, LIBERALS and other forms of the DAMNED. You Are here to Pray for them and to feel righteous in your FAITH. You can look out at these "ARTISTS" and "FREE THINKERS" knowing full well that they will be burning in the LAKE OF FIRE and you will be safe in the puffy clouds with JESUS AND ALL THE ANGELS when we all die. LORD HAVE MERCY ON THEM.

On SATURDAY, don't miss the PROCESSION OF BAAL which is a PAGAN PROCESSION where burners will cover themselves with the BLOOD OF DEVIL GOATS and WORSHIP SATAN. The MAIN EVENT which is the BURNING MAN, alternately a SPIRIT CAVE MAN EFFIGY, the WHORE OF BABYLON, and the FALL OF THE CHURCH TO LICENTIOUSNESS happens here in the good old USA and not the HEATHEN NATIONS of INDIA or the deserts of SINAI.

WHEW! With so much to do, don't forget after BURNING MAN where you can check out the ACTUAL WORDS OF CHRIST where he doesn't preach HATRED and FEAR but rather LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS YOU DO YOURSELF. Right Wing Xtians will probably find this the most depressing of all as Christ never said to hate HOMOSEXUALS or to TERRIFY YOUR CHILDREN with stories of SATAN and the like. He taught things like TOLERANCE and FORGIVENESS which is all but lost on some of the Xtian religions today.

For a real HORROR STORY, check out the PENTECOSTAL, FUNDAMENTALIST and BAPTIST CHURCHES if you want to see if SATAN IS ALIVE AND WELL in the USA today. Jesus would be real pissed if he saw what those churches did to KEEP ALIVE the ideas of HATRED, FEAR, INTOLERANCE, BIGOTRY, RACISM and BRAINWASHING OF CHILDREN. Boy, oh Boy, they're first at the GATES OF HELL if anyone is. Suffer not the HYPOCRITES.

Have a GOOD BURN. See you in CHURCH!


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