|Welcome Right Wing, Fire and Brimstone
Xtians to Black Rock City (BRC)
First off, WELCOME TO HELL ON EARTH. This is the greatest place for an Xtian to visit and we're glad you're here. After writing so many accounts of Burning Man being a cult or a devil worshipping festival, you are not SPECTATORS and for that we THANK YOU. You add to the fun that is free expression with your twisted interpretation of the event. At least you have IMAGINATION, which is more than most of the consumer and media brainwashed folks have going for them. Remember, though you walk through the VALLEY OF DEATH, no harm shall come to you for the lord will watch over you and stuff.
Now on to the FUN AN XTIAN CAN HAVE AT BURNING MAN.
|There are so many places you can go to
PRAY FOR LOST SOULS, BECOME MARTYRS and get GREAT
TERRIFYING STORIES to take back to those in your own terrified flock.
This year's events include the usual Pagan Heathen Satanist Blasphemous
Homosexual Deviant Devil Worshipping Demon inspired fun as in years past.
The theme this year is THE BODY, so there should be lots of
NAKEDNESS and general SEXUAL WEIRDNESS to get all bothered
by, but don't stop there. This list will give you some of the COOL
HAPPENINGS you can expect.
AZAZAEL will be HARVESTING THE SOULS OF THE DAMNED and working his magic at the SAPPHO ROOM on Friday. Be sure to pay him a pious visit. The great Arch Demon BEELZEBUB will be RAPING anything in his way and EATING HUMAN FLESH on Wednesday night at the BLASPHEMY BAR. Get there early as seating is limited. PAPA SATAN will be playing McSATAN'S and HELLCo on Thursday and LUCIFER'S MINIONS will be prowling the crowd, ready to possess the weak on THURSDAY. Keep an eye out for them and proclaim to God to drive the devils out ONLY IF YOU ARE ONE WITH THE SPIRIT. Remember those PIGGIES.
|Scores of NAKED PEOPLE are sure to
make your ding dong bothered so PRAY to GOD to take away
those nasty feelings and keep your SEXUAL frustration bottled up
tight. You can always diddle your children when you return home. Various
ORGIES, BEFOULMENTS and BLASPHEMIES of your
GOD can be found beginning late Wednesday night through Monday.
Here's a TIP. Sometimes praying on the outskirts is best because
you don't want to be rude and get POSSESSED BY DEVILS at anyone's
If SEANCES, DEMON POSSESSION and CANNIBALISM are your thing, don't miss the PERSEPHONE PLAYERS in ONWARD SETH VATCHIT at the GAIA CLUB on Friday night. It'll be a night of PONERIA for sure. Sounds like a good time! Of course, every night you can enjoy SPIRITUAL WARFARE at every corner but if it's LARRY HARVEY, the CULT LEADER HIMSELF you'd like to see, hang out at CENTER CAMP cause he comes out during the day sometimes to COMMUNE WITH THE DEVIL. I hear the Kool Aid is mighty tasty!!!!
|If SEX is the thing you're most
afraid of, check out the TEMPLE OF APHRODITE for some real old time
SEXUAL DEVIANCE and SADOMASOCHISTIC PASSION PLAYING. Just
like you're EATING THE BODY after he was CRUCIFIED FOR YOU,
you can even get flogged by Xrist himself in DEMON FORM. If you
yearn for your clean, honest, non-cult leaders, be sure to check out the
BUTTFUCK the MORAL MAJORITY CAMP where you can have
simulated sex with such intelligent, sinless men as PAT ROBERTSON,
JERRY FALWELL and JIMMY SWAGGERT. God Bless them all.
On SATURDAY, don't miss the PROCESSION OF BAAL which is a PAGAN PROCESSION where burners will cover themselves with the BLOOD OF DEVIL GOATS and WORSHIP SATAN. The MAIN EVENT which is the BURNING MAN, alternately a SPIRIT CAVE MAN EFFIGY, the WHORE OF BABYLON, and the FALL OF THE CHURCH TO LICENTIOUSNESS happens here in the good old USA and not the HEATHEN NATIONS of INDIA or the deserts of SINAI.
|WHEW! With so much to do, don't
forget after BURNING MAN where you can check out the ACTUAL
WORDS OF CHRIST where he doesn't preach HATRED and FEAR
but rather LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS YOU DO YOURSELF. Right Wing Xtians
will probably find this the most depressing of all as Christ never said to
hate HOMOSEXUALS or to TERRIFY YOUR CHILDREN with stories of
SATAN and the like. He taught things like TOLERANCE and
FORGIVENESS which is all but lost on some of the Xtian religions
For a real HORROR STORY, check out the
PENTECOSTAL, FUNDAMENTALIST and BAPTIST CHURCHES if
you want to see if SATAN IS ALIVE AND WELL in the USA today.
Jesus would be real pissed if he saw what those churches did to KEEP
ALIVE the ideas of HATRED, FEAR, INTOLERANCE,
BIGOTRY, RACISM and BRAINWASHING OF CHILDREN. Boy, oh
Boy, they're first at the GATES OF HELL if anyone is. Suffer not
Have a GOOD BURN. See you in CHURCH!
Have a GOOD BURN. See you in CHURCH!
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