The Burning Man Good Scout Guide to picking up chicks.
Welcome to Burning Man young man, homie, gangster, groder, frat boy, trustafarian, surfer dude or party guy. We can see that this is your first time, so we've created this helpful guide to picking up chicks. You've heard they're here, thousands of them, naked and wasted, just walking around looking for a big stud like you. Right? Of course you have, and good for you. By simply reading this pamphlet, you've made a wise step in the right direction. The best secrets are in here. You're young and horney, you're dying to have a full Burning Man experience.

That's what we're here for. To help you along. The first time is always the hardest.

Step one. Talking to women.
Here are eleven fun ways to interact with the opposite sex (girls, girlies, ho's, bitches, babes) at Burning Man.

  1. Don't call them girlies, ho's or bitches.
  2. Don't call them babes either.
  3. There are not thousands of naked, wasted women just walking around looking for you.
  4. Women are impressed when you talk to them, not when you yell at them.
  5. There are no malls here like back home. If they're here, they'll be burned before this thing's over.
  6. Drinking copious amounts of alcohol (or beer) does not a fantastic lover make.
  7. Make believe you're not at Mardi Gras, cause you're not.
  8. When talking to a woman, look in her lovely eyes instead of at her breasts.
  9. Do something, anything, INTERESTING.
  10. When in doubt, listen.
  11. The Burning Man community really respects people who are nice. Be nice.
Prev page | Contents | Next page